Timmy, Are We There Yet?

Where did my journey go?

I don't see my fellow travelers much these days.
I don't find the urge to pound my body into oblivion in hopes that I'll escape oblivion in the future so easily.

It is early Friday afternoon and I don't know when my last workout was, nor when my next one is coming. Maybe typing this will make it happen?

Did I do all of this for me, or for y'all?
Was I selfish the whole time, or gregarious?

My body hurts these days.
It hurt all last season when I was training, playing and anywhen else.

When I run, all I can think of is "Why am I doing this, where am I going?"
When I do a pushup or squat, when i throw a medball or disc... All I can think is "Again? Why the hell are you doing this again?"
I'm not out of breath, but I'm out of willpower. Out of focus. Fuzzy-edged.

Upstate NY, Indiana.
This journey completed, did we ever reach the destination? Was the destination just having memories of being someone on a journey once upon a time?

D.C., The CandyShop.
The midatlantic something or other. Looking for vistas on trail runs and room for Sammy to KILL TIM.

Just as nomadic as ever.
Something will pin me happily to a place sometime, right? Some journey I can't foresee will pull me into a tight orbit somewhere?

These breaths I shared with y'all...
Well worth the prices I paid.

Thanks, fuckers, is what I'm trying to say.
Now what the hell do I do?

I'm like a retired pro athlete with no money to show for the pain.
Or even to buy the painkillers.

I feel like I should go to college now.
I was too immature the first time.

Seeking out something with meaning. Something to give myself away to.
If J wasn't here, I'd quote some davey foster wallace here...

Better in a philosophical way, maybe.
The undervaluation of self-importance and all.

The worse in an economical theory kinda way, maybe.
But then, Nic Darling told me that as soon as you earn $1000000, you should be forced to give it all away.

I already gave it all away and found I didn't want it in the first place.

I've focused on the Journey for so long, I don't even understand what a Destination is or how to find one.
UpstateNY(there are no cities there, so don't expect me to use terms like "Oneanta"),Indiana(ibid),Philly,D.C.... Limbo.

This Journey has no end, no beginning.
Maybe I'll soon enough be able to make sense of that meaninglessness again. Maybe I won't. Maybe both and neither all at once are the only way to see and be it.

My back cracks, my shoulders pop. My knees creak and my neck squeaks. My feet burn and hands get weak.
I wouldn't give it back, I wouldn't trade it. But I can't not doubt myself.

Not sure what commenced this or convinced me that this was the place for it, but here it is kids.
Oh, right... It was the title of this blog that pulled me here. Perhaps if I struggle with the meanings of those words, I'll find something. I'll learn something.

I'll understand?

More Biking

9 miles on the bike, resistance level 15, in 30 minutes.

(214)

Watching Vikes-Bears from the gym

Did 8 miles on the stationary bike at resistance level 15.
Med Ball 200 when I got home.

You'd think football was good to watch while working out. Its not. Far too many commercials. And Joe Buck is really annoying.

(214)

Crowded Monday evening at Columbus Sq. Park

A number of us headed out to Columbus Sq. park near my house last night to get some sprinting work in. Turned out there was youth soccer, pick up soccer, and three clowns trying to play baseball so we had to improvise to fit our workout in the space. We succeeded and ended up doing the following workout:

2 reps of 2 laps of jog 50 m, sprint 50 m; 4 minutes between reps

5 minutes

5 reps of a 4 x 100 m relay or if you don't have enough dudes: 5 reps of 100 m, 30 seconds rest

5 minutes/get your cleats on as fast as you can

fake d points:
3 sets of 2 reps - 50 (yd sprint) in, 10 out, 10 in, 10 out, 10 seconds fast feet, 10 in, 10 out, 10 in, 10 sec rest, 10 out, 10 in, 10 out, 10 secs fast feet, 10 in, 50 out; 1 min between reps, 3 min between sets

*it looks tough to remember, but it really is just 50, 10, 10, 10, something, 10, 10, 10, something, 10, 10, 10, something, 10, 50.

*you only need 3 cones for this one: a cone (start), 40 yards, a cone, 10 yards, a cone

3 minutes

fake o points:
3 sets of 2 reps - 15 (yd sprint) out, 15 in, 5 out, 10 jog, 15 in, 15 out, 5 in, 10 jog, 15 out, 15 in, 30 out; 1 min between reps, 3 minutes between sets

*you need 5 cones for this one: cone (start), 5 yards, a cone, 5 yards, a cone, 5 yards, a cone, 15 yards, a cone

Sunday Make Up Workout

Couldn't make it back to Mercer for Sunday practice after the wedding. Headed out to a field in Maryland on Sunday afternoon and did the following:

2 x 2 x Hill sprints followed by 20 push ups

Med Ball 200
8.8 lbs medicine ball
20 x Big Circles
20 x Woodchopper
20 x Standing Russian Twists
20 x Squat to Press
20 x Med Ball sit up
20 x Rocky Solo
20 x Toe-Touch
20 x 45-Degree Twist
20 x Suitcase Crunch
20 x Diagonal Crunch

20 Minutes of pulling. Worked on outside in pulls especially and focused on getting hangtime on IO pulls. Fooled around a little with spin pulls. I could maybe see myself using it at some point but not this year as it would take a lot of refining to get right and my regular OI pull works just fine.

Saturday Practice

Good turnout at the MCUDL fields for a good day of practice. Lots of scrimmaging and strategic work. Body felt great until I made a bid on Weez tweaking my groin again. Played through it as its really just a tweak but annoying nonetheless. I had to leave about an hour+ early to book it to Maryland for a wedding.

Back to the Track

Last night I reminded myself why it sucks to lose close to a month of training when you get injured. I headed out to the Temple Track with 13 other philly ultimate players including Grin, Ross, and Ellis and kicked the crap out of myself.

Workout was as follows:

2 lap warm up, active stetching.

2 laps of jog 100, stride 100
3 minutes break
1 x 4 reps of 100 m: 40 secs rest between reps
3 minutes break
2 x 6 reps of 70 m: 30 secs rest between reps; 3 min between set
5 minute break
3 x 5 reps of 25 m: 15 secs rest between reps; 45 secs between sets (or just walk back and start again)
3 minute break
2 x 6 reps of 70 m: 40 secs rest between reps; 3 min between set
3 minute break
1 x 4 reps of 100 m: 50 secs rest between reps

Killer workout despite the short distances. Ended up being close to 1.75 miles of sprinting.